Memoirs Of an Imperfect Sagittarius

Thursday 6th October 2011

Okay… So I had to get up early for an 9am Lecture. I was pissed because I don’t do early mornings! I ain’t Marsha Ambrosius! Anyway, my Seminar teacher tells us that every Thursday we have to come to class with a Newspaper! And It can’t be the Metro! I was like

U CANNOT Get Student Discount on newspapers and this teacher is TELLING ME That I have to get out of my bed EXTRA Early to get a Damn newspaper!! WTF!! 

Anyway. So I woke up early to go downstairs to the shop thats on campus to get the newspaper. THE SHOP IS CLOSED! It was like 8:45am! I was NOT IMPRESSED. I just walked past the shop.

So I had to walk even FURTHER just to get a Newspaper that I don’t really plan on reading! I mean I read the METRO online! I don’t have to get outta my bed to read that ish. Click of a button WAHLAH! Metro is on my screen, BUT NOOO!! Anyho!

I get to class. The teacher is a Rude Muthafucker! We all had our newspapers. I brought the Daily Star. I’ve never read the Daily Star but I didn’t want to buy “The Sun” because it had dirty pictures in it, and the newspaper u buy represents ur personality. And I didn’t have TIME to be standing in the shop browsing through Newspapers picking which one is best! I just picked up any OL’ shit! I got to class. Opened up my newspaper and I realized that it had Dirty pictures in it!

Well it was TOO late now! I’ve already brought it. Damn! The teacher (His name is Mark) walks around the class looking at what Newspapers we brought. He looks at me…

Mark: Oh You’ve brought the Daily Star

Me: Yes.

Mark. The Daily Star. Interesting. PERVERT.

THIS TEACHER DID NOT JUST CALL ME A PERVERT!? So I :

And Proceeding with the lesson. Throughout the Whole of the class this man was giving us A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E and I just COULDN’T DEAL WITH IT! I Sat there and remained humbled, as the Jesus in me was kicking in. 

THEN My friend had “The Times” newspaper. My friend said that she finds “The Times” newspaper boring. Mark was like:

Mark: YOU DON’T LIKE THE TIMES NEWSPAPER!?

Class: *Shakes head*

Mark brushed it off for a while, but he was VERY offended as it is his favourite newspaper, but as the class went on Mark dropped a line that disturbed my soul. Mark said:

“As all you Bastard’s don’t like “The Times” newspaper…”

I WAS LIKE:

THIS MAN DID NOT JUST CALL US ALL BASTARDS!! So I’m looking around the class and everyone is sitting down looking like this:

I WAS JUST LIKE….

If this shit carries on I will be throwing water on Mark in the Style of Evelyn from Basketball Wives!